i need help

I wrote this on the train ride a took from san francisco where i go to school to San Jose where my house is. The train ride is only an hour long so i decided to challenge myself and see if i could write a little story. I personally don’t think its that good but i’m still pretty proud of it. I plan on doing this sometimes when i take the train. Heres the first one. I will probably post more like these later.

Train Challenge #1 - 

Justin went sprinting past yet another rusty old caboose. He looked left and right all he saw was more oil cars, engines, and train parts of the sort.

            “REBECCA!!” Justin shouted. “Where are you!” He had no idea where he was. He had never been in the abandoned train yard across the street from his love’s house, so he had no idea where to look for her. To look for anyone, for that matter.

            He saw an old abandoned station that looked lie it would have been a management building, where they would have thrown the switches to switch the tracks for the trains. He ran up to the door and grabbed the handle to find it was already ajar, and covered in blood.

            “Oh my god…” he knew he had to find Rebecca fast. He threw himself through the door and looked around. The extremely dusty floor had footprints and scuffmarks all over it. There was a chair knocked over, and the door on the other side was open. He made for the door but on his first step he slipped. He looked down and there was a small puddle of blood, right where he stepped. His heart dropped. Without wasting any more time he ran for the door on the other side.

            As he came out he saw that it was more of the rail yard, but with less trains. This part of the yard was under a highway, so there were pillars coming down in between all the tracks. Justin didn’t have time to break down his thoughts, so he kept moving forward.

            He ran forward for what felt like days, but was only minutes. He ran straight through, checking behind all the support beams. He got to the very end where there was only one track to follow. He followed this last track, but still it ended in a dead end. He walked up to the chain link fence topped with barbed wire and screamed. He started to tear up when he heard half a scream. The scream was muffled at the end, but there was still enough sound for Justin to know where it came from. His head jolted up and he looked to the right. In the distance, past a ripped gap in the fence, he saw a drainage tunnel. And entering it was Rebecca and the man.

            A new fire had been lit inside of Justin. He didn’t know if it was hope, anger, fear, or any other emotion, but he knew what he had to do. Justin ran faster than he ever had in his entire life. He kept his eyes pinned on the two of them; the man had his arm over and around Rebecca. Their pace was slow, and Justin’s was fast, so he met them right at the opening of the drainage ditch.

            He came within a couple feet of them when the man let go of Rebecca and turned to face him.

            “Get, the FUCK away from us!” the man screamed as he let go of his bleeding side in order to draw out a blood covered kitchen knife with his right hand.

            “JUSTIN!” Rebecca screamed as she fell backwards onto the side of the tunnel, face consumed with horror.

            “Put the knife down. Now.” Justin said in as calm a voice as he could manage. He knew he had the upper hand. The other guy was wounded badly, and had been running on his injury to boot.

            “Back the fuck up before I kill you man! Get the fuck out of here!” The man had genuine fear in his eyes and Justin could sense that this wasn’t going to end well. Then Rebecca chimed in with

            “Justin just-“

            “SHUT UP BECCA!” the man said looking away for a second. This was Justin’s chance.

            Justin Lunged forward and grabbed for the knife. The man flinched, but was able to bring the knife out of Justin’s reach. Justin tackled him to the ground with the momentum he had and pinned him. The man was squirming with all his might, and was able to get his right shoulder free. With a swift swing the man brought the knife up and down, Justin wasn’t able to roll off of him in time and got sliced in the arm.

            Rebecca was screaming this entire time. Her voice didn’t have the slightest sound of falter at all. But neither of the men had time to focus on her.

            The man got up before Justin could and brought the knife in between both his hands. He jumped onto Justin and brought the knife down with a heavy stabbing motion. Had Justin not landed awkwardly on his side with his left leg up he would have been killed right then and there. But he did. He shoved his leg up into the gut of the off guard man and threw him up against the wall right next to Rebecca. Justin rolled, grabbed the knife, jumped up, and thrust it into the mans heart all in one swift motion.

            “JUSTIN!!” Rebecca shouted, but it was drown out by the man’s pain filled scream. It was the most sorrowful scream any of the three of them had ever heard. For the man though, it was the last thing he ever heard, because afterward he collapsed on the ground, dead where he fell.

            Justin backed away and just stared at the man. The tunnel was completely silent except for Rebecca’s crying and Justin’s panting. After staring at the man for a few seconds Justin turned his attention to Rebecca and knelt down next to her.

            “Its ok baby I’m here” he said.

            “NO!!! Get away from me you monster!!”

            “Wha-?”

            “You killed him you fucking bastard!” she screamed as she started to crawl away.

            “But he-“

            “HE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!”

            “But I, I love you Rebecca!”

            “AND I DON’T LOVE YOU!!! YOU COULDN’T HANDLE THAT COULD YOU! I WONT EVER LOVE YOU, NEVER!!”

            Justin got up and backed away startled, his mind spinning. He looked down and the dead man that was once Rebecca’s boyfriend, and bent over. He pulled the knife out of his chest and looked over at Rebecca.

If he couldn’t have her. No one could.