dutchster:

when i see a clothing item i like and check the price tag

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(via fuckyeahloldemort)

lokiloo:

My Buddhist friend was stopped by a Christian fellowship and asked if she would consider following the word of Jesus Christ. She replied, “No, thanks, but maybe next time around.”

I don’t think they got the joke but I nearly died laughing.

(via the-oncoming-shitstorm)

ex0skeletal:

Fun shark attack facts:

  • In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
  • For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.

Conclusions:

  1. Humans are assholes.
  2. Sharks are not assholes.
  3. Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.

(via the-oncoming-shitstorm)

officialunitedstates:

they said it was dangerous and stupid but look at me now.  3 years after eating nothing but plant seeds I get 95% of my energy from the sun plus my branch arms are useful in duels

(via the-oncoming-shitstorm)

oreoofficial:

"no pain no game." i whisper as i break my sisters leg while playing twister

(via thefuuuucomics)

timeforanedventure:

a-p-h-belarus:

phrux:

adamsforthought:

dungeonsandpendragons:

Commonly confused medieval weapons, a powerpoint by me.

Now stop screwing them up, seriously, or I will put a medieval weapon in your head.

Tumblr is endearing me to being lectured at in Comic Sans

THIS is a WAR SCYTHE, a scythe actually used in combat. Notice it is not a useless piece of shit and is an actual functional weapon.

The only reason why death is pictured with a FARMING scythe is because he harvests souls.

now i can kill ppl and know what im killing them with thank you

Because some people might need this.

(via darth-sebious)

adrians:

adrians:

the best thing about having the house to myself is that I can make breakfast in my underwear

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(via totheinternetandbeyond)

lucillesballs:

overhearing people talking about something u like

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hearing that they talkin shit

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(via thefuuuucomics)